The internet has sided with a woman who decided to put her health before her husband’s wishes, after he tried to force her to reschedule her urgent doctor’s appointment to care for his injured friend.
In a post shared on Reddit on Sunday, the woman, who goes by the username u/throwara75965, explained that the couple has been hosting her husband’s friend Terry for a while after he got into an accident and injured his knee.
According to the post, which has so far reached 24,100 upvotes and over 800 comments, her husband looks after Terry because he sees him living alone and in need of assistance, but ever since he moved to their living room, she’s been the main caregiver.
“I welcomed him to our home but found myself having to clean up after him and bring him his medication and also cook for him. And if I take a long time to get something done he’d call my husband and basically ‘tell on me’ which makes my husband mad,” she wrote.
She went on to explain that after she got a really bad toothache, she booked an emergency dentist appointment for the day after. But her husband repeatedly tried to make her reschedule the appointment, saying she needs to be at Terry’s total service while he’s at work and he wouldn’t be able to book a day off with no prior notice.
The day after, the wife decided to go anyway and Terry, who was awake in the living room, saw her leaving and began yelling that she wasn’t allowed to go, before he called her husband who left work immediately to go look after him. The wife says that her husband then called her for hours asking her to “stop hiding behind mom and come deal with the results of having him leave his job for hours after [she] blind sided him and went against his wishes.”
According to research by Healthline, it’s possible for a tooth infection to lead to serious or potentially life-threatening complications. When a tooth infection happens, and you notice swelling around the tooth, you should urgently see a dentist, the website explains.
“If a tooth infection goes untreated, it can spread to other areas of the body over a period of weeks or months. This can cause serious symptoms like fever, difficulty breathing, or trouble swallowing. Death can occur quickly without immediate care,” said Healthline.
Most users agreed she’s not the a**hole of the situation, and that her husband is not very respectful towards her. One user, orange_monk, commented: “And how much would you have to disrespect op in public that a guest feels not only entitled to her services but treats her like she owes him something. Op needs to run, now!”
Others suggested her husband and his friend are more than just friends. NUT-me-SHELL said: “NTA. Sounds to me like you should continue staying with your Mom and let your soon to be ex husband start his new life with his partner Terry.” Bruiscear said: “Terry is your husband’s life partner. You’re the ‘beard.’ NTA. Leave. Find a heterosexual man who is looking for a relationship with a woman.”
And TomTheLad79 explained: “The word for this is homosociality, where the primary bond (which may or may not include a genital sex component) is between men, and women serve as a medium of exchange to cement the bonds between the men.”
Other users were worried about her husband’s behavior towards her and urged her to stay away from him. One user, tasialou, said: “Face the consequences. This is the words of a potential abuser please don’t go back there.. The fact that he was willing to ignore your pain for his friend while you’re his wife, not his friend Nta.”
42790193 wrote: “LEAVE. RUN. NTA,” while Hillendan1983 added: “Don’t go back to that house. Your husband is an abusive a**hole. Move out and file for divorce.”
Some users wondered how a knee injury left Terry completely incapable of caring for himself. Awkardfrog said: “It’s not like Terry can’t be left alone for a few hours because he might have a seizure and die or something. He has an injured knee. Crutches are a thing. Just sounds like he’s way too comfortable being a tick on Op. Does she have to wipe his a**e too?”
And KillerRayne17 said: “NTA. He’s 33 with an injured knee, not 97 and on his deathbed. Since your husband and Terry are on the same side just give Terry your ring, clearly your husband loves him more, jeez.”
Another user, BossladyRT, pointed out how sometimes a toothache can actually be fatal: “dental abscesses ( if that’s what OP has ) are no joke and should be taken seriously. I’m a respiratory therapist and I can’t tell you how many times I have to care for a person on a ventilator in the ICU because of a untreated dental abscess. Your mouth is very close to your brain. [God] forbid you go septic and the infection kills you.”
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